You might have a friend like this:
They often say, “You’re so good — I’m nowhere near your level.”
When you compliment them, they brush it off: “Don’t praise me… I know how bad I am.”
Even when they’ve worked really hard, they won’t acknowledge it.
They constantly talk about how amazing others are, but never mention anything good about themselves.
If you’ve ever wondered,
“Why can’t they just believe in themselves? I’ve praised them so many times!”
…They might be a classic Gingerella-type friend.
🧡 Their personality: sensitive, self-critical, quietly yearning for understanding
Gingerella friends often:
Genuinely admire others and express it often
Set high standards for themselves — nothing ever feels “good enough”
Hold back their true feelings, afraid they’ll come off as arrogant or lacking
Carry a quiet inner voice: “Am I really someone you’d want to like?”
It’s not that they don’t believe in you — they just haven’t yet learned to believe they deserve to be appreciated.
💡 What they might be thinking inside:
“You’re so amazing… and I’m just ordinary. Would you really want to be friends with me?”
“I know you’re being kind by praising me… but I just can’t accept it.”
“I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging, so I stay silent.”
✅ How can you be there for them?
1️⃣ Share how you feel, not just generic praise
Gingerella friends may resist comments like “You’re so good.”
Instead, try saying:
“What you did really moved me — it felt so thoughtful and uniquely you.”
➡️ Turning observations into heartfelt feedback is much more effective.
2️⃣ Don’t rush to correct their negative talk — let them finish first
👧: “I feel like such a failure… I’m still so useless at this age.”
👩: “It sounds like you’re feeling this way because you had really high hopes for yourself, right?”
➡️ Instead of saying “No! You’re amazing!” right away, respond to their emotions first.
3️⃣ Share your own moments of self-doubt — show you’re walking beside them
They don’t want to be in the spotlight — they want a companion.
You could say:
“Sometimes I also feel like everyone else is doing great and I’m falling behind. So if you’re feeling that too, I get it.”
➡️ When you’re not just a cheerleader but a fellow traveler, they’re more likely to open up.
4️⃣ When they finally acknowledge something good about themselves, say:
“Hearing you say that makes me happy — I’ve always known you had that quality.”
➡️ No need for a dramatic speech. Just sincerely receive their words — they’ll remember you as the one who truly believed in them.
🧡 What a Gingerella friend really wants you to know:
“I’m not asking you to keep flattering me — I just hope you won’t give up on believing in me.”
“There are parts of myself I still can’t fully accept. Please help me hold them gently.”
“I don’t need to be the best — I just want you to affirm every step I take.”
💬 You can say to them:
“I honestly think you’ve always been worth appreciating — maybe you just haven’t seen how great you really are yet.”
“You don’t need to be perfect. I already like you exactly the way you are.”