You might have a friend like this:
When chatting, they say things like,
“It’s fine, I expected this…” — with a flat tone and slightly downcast eyes.
They prepare a lot for something,
but if the outcome isn’t ideal, they blame themselves:
“Maybe I was never cut out for this…”
They don’t usually complain,
but when they talk about themselves, it’s:
“I knew I’d mess it up anyway.”
Sometimes they seem cold or distant all of a sudden,
but deep down, you know they still care.
If you’ve ever thought:
“Why do they keep saying they’re useless when they’re clearly doing okay?”
Chances are, your friend is someone who’s quietly resilient but wounded by past disappointments —
an Oh-Potato type of friend.
🥔 They may not say much — but they long to be heard.
Oh-Potato friends don’t openly express when they’re feeling down.
But when they drop a single negative line,
it might be the tip of a collapsing hope.
They work hard, but when their efforts go unseen, they start to wonder:
“Maybe I was never good enough to begin with.”
It’s not that they don’t want to be strong —
they just don’t know how to bounce back anymore.
💡 What might they be thinking?
“Even if I talk about it, you won’t get it — so I’d rather not.”
“Everyone’s so busy… I don’t want to be a burden.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t care this much… but I really do feel down.”
And still, deep inside, they’re hoping you’ll know:
“I wish you’d ask me again — are you really okay?”
“I can’t find the words yet, but if you stay… I’ll slowly open up.”
“You don’t have to comfort me — just don’t leave.”
✅ How can I support them?
1. Give sincere recognition, not just feel-good pep talks
🧑: “You did fine already — cheer up!”
👭: “I saw how you spent nights prepping for that report. I really admire your focus.”
➡️ Oh-Potato friends don’t need empty encouragement —
they need you to notice their real efforts and value.
2. Don’t shut down their self-doubt with “you’re not that bad”
When they say something negative,
they’re not necessarily looking for instant denial.
Try asking instead:
“What part of it disappointed you the most?”
“If I were the one who did what you did, how would you see me?”
➡️ Helping them shift perspective often works better than direct contradiction.
3. Be there — even if they don’t want to talk yet
Just because they’re silent doesn’t mean they don’t need anyone.
You can say:
“I know you might not feel like talking, but I’m here.
If you need me, just say so.”
➡️ Quiet support can be more powerful than a thousand wise words.
4. When they open up — even a little — hold onto that courage
👧: “I just… feel like I didn’t do well enough.”
👩: “It took a lot of courage for you to say that.
I’ll remember how honest you were today.”
➡️ Your attentive listening helps them remember:
They’re not alone, and even disappointment can be understood.
🥔 Oh-Potato friends just want you to know:
“I don’t want to trouble you,
but I really need someone to get me through this slump.”
“It’s not that I don’t believe in myself —
I just hope someone else could believe in me too.”
“One genuine word of affirmation from you
could be what helps me get back on my feet.”
💬 You can say to them:
“I know it’s hard for you to open up,
but everything you’ve said — I’ve taken to heart.”
“You’re allowed to feel down. I’ll wait with you until you’re ready again.”
“You don’t need to prove anything. To me, you’re already someone worth admiring.”