How can I understand them and breathe alongside them?
Have you ever noticed that there's a parent at home like this:
- Not good at expressing love directly; saying "I love you" makes them blush
- When asked how they feel, they say: "Doesn't matter, as long as you're happy"
- Gets nervous around strangers, avoids initiating conversations with relatives or friends
- Keeps personal things to themselves, often using laughter to cover awkward silences
These parents might be what we call — Shy Cherry parents.
🫣 They're not cold — they're just shy
Shy Cherry parents feel things deeply inside, but:
- They're afraid they'll say the wrong thing and be judged
- They're afraid they're not good enough and will disappoint you
- They don't believe they'll be understood, so they'd rather not speak
They often have a whole draft of words in their head — but only say 'Mm', 'Okay', or 'Up to you'.
💬 Their silence is about not knowing how to respond
You may have asked:
"Mom, are you actually happy?"
"Dad, do you like your job now?"
They just smiled and gave a vague, safe answer.
But deep down, it's not that they don't want to talk — they just never learned it was safe to do so.
🤝 As their child, here's how you can support them:
1. Ask in a non-confrontational way
Avoid direct lines like: "Why won't you say anything?"
Try instead: "I really want to hear your thoughts — even just a little."
💡 Shy Cherry parents need more mental prep. It's not about not trusting you — they just fear saying the wrong thing could hurt the relationship.
2. When they show love through actions, respond with words
They might not say "I love you", but they'll make soup, bring fruit, or fold your blanket.
You can say:
"I know you care — your soup is really comforting."
"Even if you don't say it, I can feel you worry about me."
💡 Being seen like this is deeply healing for Shy Cherry parents.
3. Don't rush, don't force, don't laugh at their struggle to speak
Sometimes they gather courage to say something heartfelt, but it comes out clumsy or awkward.
At that moment, just say:
"It's okay — I understand you. I'm really touched you shared that."
If you don't laugh at them, they'll dare to speak more next time.
4. Invite them to low-pressure activities together
They dread face-to-face, heart-to-heart talks.
But you can suggest:
- Cooking together
- Watching old movies
- Cutting newspaper clippings / doing crafts / planting together
💡 Side-by-side companionship helps them feel less stared at — and more relaxed.
5. When they finally blush and share something small, treasure it
No need for a big reaction — just sincerely say:
- "Thank you for telling me."
- "I wouldn't have known you felt that way if you didn't say it."
- "I'm really happy you trust me enough to share."
It takes great courage for them to open up. If you can catch their words gently, they'll stop retreating.