When guilt rushes in, I tend to go completely silent.
It’s not that I don’t want to speak — I’m just afraid that if I open my mouth, I’ll make you even more upset or disappointed.
I keep replaying what I said, what I did wrong, telling myself: “I shouldn’t have done that... I was way too impulsive.”
Sometimes, I don’t even know how to begin saying “I’m sorry.”
🔶 1. I might try to make it up to you through actions, without saying anything.
You might notice I suddenly start treating you extra well — helping out, accommodating you, or giving thoughtful little gifts.
What I’m really trying to say is: “I know I messed up. I want to make it right.”
✅ If you understand this, you can gently ask, “Are you trying to say sorry?”
🔶 2. When I finally gather the courage to say “I’m sorry,” please don’t dismiss it.
Sometimes when you reply with “It’s okay~” too quickly, it makes me feel like you didn’t really hear me.
I’d rather hear something sincere like:
“I appreciate that you’re willing to say it.”
✅ That tells me you heard the remorse in my heart.
🔶 3. Sometimes I need to write it down — it’s too hard to say face-to-face.
I might send a message, leave a note, or even draw something.
It’s not because I don’t care — it’s because I worry I won’t be able to say the words properly in person.
✅ If you receive one of these messages, you can gently reply:
“I got it. It’s okay — we can talk it through slowly.”
🔶 4. If you’re willing to share your feelings first, it makes it easier for me to open up.
If you say something like:
“I was actually a bit upset that day… but I’d really like to hear how you felt too.”
✅ That opens up a non-judgmental, equal space — and I’ll be able to share little by little.
“You don’t need a perfect explanation — the fact that you’re being honest is already really brave.”
“Speaking up isn’t weakness — it shows that you value the relationship.”